Ah, the holidays . . . Quality time with friends and family. Hot cocoa by the fire. Roasting marshmallows. Snow angels. A dude humping the globe. What . . .? Basically, there's two ways your holiday wardrobe can
go -- reindeer sweater and pleated khakis, keeping your parents psyched on your general well-being and positive attitude, OR you can say FTW (no, not "for the win") and just run with an assortment of the raunchiest tees the market has to offer. From your Nana to your little cousins, freak out each and every member of your family with these tees, the ten most mortifying t-shirts we could find. Don't say you weren't warned.


10. Actual Pain "Goat Head"

The offended party: Your mom. "Merry Christmas mom! I worship Satan now, but still expect presents. Cool?"



9. FreshJive "Gaylife"

The offended party: Your backwards homophobic dad. Not only do you dress fairly uncouthly in his eyes, but apparently now you're out of the closet to boot. Let's hope he doesn't drown in all that eggnog.


8. Carrot "Streaking"

The offended party: Your girlfriend -- "Really? an old naked dude on your chest, at my parents Christmas dinner?"



7. FreshJive "Eat Shit & Die"

The offended party: Your sister in-law. Not only does she already feel like a bit of an outsider, but now you're giving her the one subliminal message that could push her over the edge.


6. 10.Deep "Beach Blanket Bang-Out"

The offended party: Your mom. She slaves over a nice rump roast and you come to the table with this titty garbage? She didn't raise you in a whore house. That's what you went to college for.


5. FreshJive "I Love Big Black Ass"

The offended party: Your racist, redneck, red state cousins: To you it's just bootay, to them it's a race war. And actually, everyone else who sees this will be offended as well. We guarantee it. . . .


4. Fifty24SF "The Menu"

The offended party: We would say your Grandma, but she's got a medical marijuana card for her glaucoma. But, bet you a dime bag your dad's not feeling this one, Cheech.


3. TITS "Carol & Cheryl"

The offended party: Your sister. Know one knows she's been having drunken make out sessions with other girls all through her first semester out of school. Don't blow up her spot like that buddy.


2. Mishka "Sagittarius"

The offended party: Your older brother, his wife and kids. Kids love comics and they're especially intrested when the cover features centaurs, boobies and bush. Your big bro will want to knock you out for forcing a premature conversation and the birds bees and self-lovin'. You're such a jerk!


1. Hello Minor "FTW"

The offended party: Santa. This guys spends all night on Christmas Eve spreading worldwide joy and you go and stick your weenie in it? Come on pal. Show some respect.