Your typical retro American video game commercial typically involved a few well-worn tropes -- live action buff guys, teenagers with attitude and pizza,
dorky parents and exploding walls with lightning. However in the formative video game advertising years and on through to today, the Japanese have, as always, taken a different cultural approach to presenting their games to consumers. From the head scratching appeal of the Sega SG 1000 spokeswoman through to choreographed dance moves from the cast of Legend of Zelda, we present five of the wackiest Japanese video game commercials we could dig up.



5) The Sega SG 1000 Console

Way, way before there were video game babes like Olivia Munn and, um, Chun-Li, there was Japan's Sega SG-1000 spokeswoman. With a shrill voice that could make any dog absolutely lose it's mind and a cutesy attitude that'll make you barf, the SG-1000 spokeswoman was definitely not developed with the old advertising adage of "sex sells" in mind. Too bad there wasn't a chill-pill cartridge for the SG-1000. A fine reminder of how great is to be single.


4) Kid Icarus for NES

This commercial burns half it's time NOT showing gameplay, instead, telling the story of some bald dude who played the game, and of course the game rips so hard that he freezes. Predictable! Then his wife comes and she's really screwed - who's going to bring home the bacon, errr, udon, now? A family torn apart. Sad really.


3) F1 Racer for Gameboy

Advertising a Gameboy game creates a difficult challenge - how do we show that this game rules (right...), despite the fact that it's a muddy mashed peas colored tour-de-yawn? Of course the solution is a jaunty song and dance of adult men dressed as F1 cars. With 7 seconds left in the spot, you see shots of what looks like Pole Position being played on four veggie burgers. At least there's a swimsuit at the end.



2) Legend of Zelda for Super Nintendo

The levels of WTF run very deep in this ad for the Legend of Zelda. In a choreographed routine, Link (at androgynous heights) and a crew of in-game characters cut a rug to a funky-as-only-the-Japanese-could "phat beat." Perhaps a precursor to Fatboy Slim, even. The "shim" Link then breaks his elf lady out of her cage, they embrace in an overly polite manner and then fat boy sorcerer Ganon pops up, as usual. Maybe he's into girl on girl. What a pig.




1) Sega Saturn featuring Segata Sanshiro

To promote the Sega Saturn console, Sega introduced Segata Sanshiro, a hermit who's devoted his life to training on the Sega Saturn, living atop a mountain, naturally. In this first spot Segata trains by carrying a gigantic Saturn through the woods, then practices his button mashing skills by beating a giant controller. Next, to promote the Bomberman game for Saturn, Sanshiro performs a Judo throw on an opponent, so powerful that the man explodes like a car hit by a SCUD missile. Sold. I'll take two.