FLOPS

"Aliens" - Reebok Alien Stomper

If people would buy Michael Jordan's sneaker because he dunked on guys like Mel Turpin and Tree Rollins, what would they do for a hightop that Ellen Ripley wore whilst fighting acid-spewing aliens? That had to be somewhere in the back of Reebok's mind when they brought out the Alien Stomper, which featured big in 1986's "Aliens". As for the design, we picture a conversation like this: "How can we make this shoe look futuristic?" "I dunno. Put some more Velcro on it?"

"A Nightmare On Elm Street" - Nike "Freddy Krueger" Dunk SB Low

If we know Freddy Krueger--and we think we do--there's no doubt that he would have taken great pleasure in slaughtering the very same teens who would have lined up to purchase the Dunk SBs inspired by his outfit. In fact, that would have made for quite the "Nightmare on Elm Street" sequel: a boutique campout where tired sneakerheads fall asleep only to die horrific deaths. A subplot could include those at the end of the line trying to convince those in front of them to doze off. Fortunately, these horrors were scrapped, so you'll only find them in your nightmares. And maybe on eBay.

"Gremlins" - Reebok Pump Omni Lites

"Gremlins" was one of those movies that tried to be everything to everyone all at once, combining cute and cuddly aliens (like "ET") with vicious and nasty ones (like "Alien"), who all overrun a small town and interfere with teen romance. Whew. That's the best thing we can say for the movie. The best thing we can say for these Reebok Pump Omni Lites is that thankfully they don't multiply when they get wet.

"Star Trek" - Airwalk 1.0

Despite William Shatner's best efforts, it's likely that many so-called Trekkies have yet to acquire so-called lives. If you're obsessed with a fan of "Star Trek," you learn everything: the names of every character, the backstory of every planet, the language of every race. Jeff Staple of Staple Design may not be a Trekkie himself, but he knows how they operate. So when he did this Enterprise-inspired Airwalk hightop, he got everything right. The logos, the number, even the color. They're perfect, but we still wouldn't wear them. We've got lives.

"Do The Right Thing" - Air Jordan lll

By the time "Do The Right Thing" came out in 1989, Spike Lee was a major part of the Nike family. His Mars Blackmon character had rocked Air Jordans nonstop in "She's Gotta Have It," and his commercials with MJ (as Mars) were as big a part of the mythos as the shoes themselves. So it was no surprise that Nike products played a huge role in "DTRT"-there was an entire scene based around the Air Jordan IV. And when Jordan decided to do a run of Air Jordans based on the colors in the movie poster, that was no surprise, either. But the Air Jordan III? For "Do The Right Thing"? Whoever came up with that idea is 30 cents from having a quarter.